Friday, January 25

to be a young girl again...

This is a story of our Friday evening.

While eating dinner we were watching a movie that I picked up from the library the other day. I haven't thought about this movie in probably 12-15 years I think I am safe to say. I saw the title and couldn't return it to its spot on the shelf. So I got it.

So, we had been watching "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" when during a loud spot in the movie I thought I heard the doorbell. I paused a second and then went to the door... looked out the peephole... the porch light wasn't on... all I could see were 4 short heads...but different heights... long hair... must be girls I'm thiniking in my head...I open the door and I can see she has a paper in her hands... fundraising for something I think... aren't the girl scouts starting to sell cookies? THEN...

As the one girl (second from left) she has the paper and says 'Hi... we are at a birthday party and we are doing a scavenger hunt...(by now I have opened the door.. smiling) can you look at the items that we have(she hands me the paper) and the ones that aren't crossed off we are still searching for...I asked if I could give them more than one thing... all of them answer..."oh yes"

I was so excited for these girls... they were probably 11... to be that age again... they were soooo giggly and sweet. They talked to the cats while I was in search of items and the girl second from the right commented on how cute they were.

these were the items I gave them for their list...

1. red paper clip
2. purple ribbon
3. coffee filter

A symbol of sorts (even if its only myself that knows it) these three items that I picked from the list are all things that I love to have in my life and actually use on a regular basis... my colored paper clips... not only do I love their bright colors of red, pink, green, blue... their texture is so much more pleasing to the touch than the plain ole' silver ones. Anyways...'red paperclip' was the first I saw on the list and I thought... "I, have a RED paperclip" and right next to my colorful paperclips are my colorful jars of RIBBON. So out came the sissors... snip snip ... and well the coffee filters are a no 2nd shelf above the coffee pot.

So.. I have thought about them for most of the evening, my thoughts go back to them and I smile thinking about how much fun they were having.

It seems as though this past week have been full of reminders of the 'innocence of youth'. I watched 'Juno'(great movie), "Honey I Shrunk the Kids" brought back a part of my childhood, the girls at the door doing the scavenger hunt, and the lady with the chenille fabric.

It seems I have been on this path to discover me all over again. With my first child I was wrapped up in becoming 'mother earth' and only wanting to be a mommy. And while this is still all very important to me... 4 1/2 years into this and I see myself as a different person...(even though I am still very much the same person)... but seems to be more of 'reinventing' the person deep inside and getting in touch with the woman that I am becoming more of everyday. It seems a little scary sometimes but I am learning that there isn't anything to be afraid of.

So for now... I will remember those 'giggles' and try to be true to that little girl that is still alive inside me. I pledge to her that this year be an unveiling of who 'that' little girl wants to be when she grows up.